Mea culpa.
I know I haven’t been in touch a ton lately, and I’m sorry. I promised you’d hear from me about easy ways to grow your online business and how to grow an email list.
…and I dropped the ball.
You may have heard me share how I just moved across the continent and I dramatically underestimated how intense that would be. It sucked up every last drop of energy I had. I was totally depleted. I have only been looking after my clients but I may not have been supporting YOU – and for that I’m sorry.
And I’m back, woohoo!
How I 1,000% KNOW you can and will succeed with your online business
You may not know this about me, but I used to dance professionally.
Before that, I trained my butt off. I started when I was 3. By the time I was a teenager I spent more hours at the studio than I did at school.
And still, I had my biggest mentor – the one whom I put on a major pedestal – totally turn her back on me.
Worse yet, I didn’t even realize it and it almost cost me my dance career.
My first love? Ballet. I ate, slept, and breathed ballet. I had a ballet teacher who was so kind to me. I’ll call her Miss Melanie (not her real name).
Unbeknownst to me, the syllabus we were following had two tracks: pre-professional and recreational. One year after returning to classes after summer break, I noticed that I had just one ballet class a week on my schedule, but some others of my friends – girls I had been dancing with for years – now had two classes per week.
I was only 12 years old at the time and I had no idea at all that Miss Melanie, whom I adored like a second mom, had decided for me that I just wasn’t good enough to be in the pre-professional track.
Miss Melanie had given up on helping me realize my dreams of dancing professionally one day and, worst of all, I had absolutely no idea and no say in the matter.
Of course, over the course of the next couple months, I and my friends who had been placed in the rec level figured out what had happened. I was devastated but, as a young girl, I wasn’t mad at my mentor or indignant that she hadn’t communicated with me about this decision.
I just thought, “I’m not good enough. I’ll never been good enough to succeed.”
At 12 years old.
Sigh.
Then, Miss Melanie quit. She was having a baby.
I was so sad! (I loved her, remember?)
Miss Melanie was replaced by a new ballet teacher for me, whom I’ll call Miss Cora.
Miss Cora was the quintessential stereotypical no-nonsense kind of ballet teacher you see in the movies. She was intensely focused on making each of us the best we could be. She never accepted less than our best.
Under her mentorship, I blazed through the recreational levels that Miss Melanie had relegated me to years before… and then, when I was done, there were no more classes left for me to take except the pre-professional ones, so that’s where I went.
Miss Melanie never returned because after she had her baby, she started her own ballet studio in a different part of the city.
Meanwhile, I worked hard. I even paid for extra private lessons with Miss Cora because I had a huge pre-professional ballet exam coming up – one that was very difficult to pass – and Miss Cora felt I could use the extra practice time. I was deadly serious in my commitment – just like I always had been – and Miss Cora continued to show up for me to the exact extent that I was showing up for myself.
Exam time came and I passed – just barely.
I was ecstatic, especially because I was not only the only dancer who passed from my studio but I was also one of only FOUR dancers in my entire city to pass in that round of exams. (We had gotten such a tough examiner that year that that examiner was never again asked back.)
Just a couple weeks later, competition time came around and I actually ran into my old dance teacher, Miss Melanie, at a city-wide competition. We noticed each other and she said hi to me and asked me how I was doing.
I wasted no time in saying, “Well, I just passed the pre-professional exam!”
Remember, this was an exam that was very difficult to pass. It was an exam that she never would have put me up for if I had remained her student.
AND – because she had her own studio at this point – this was an exam she had also submitted students to, and none of her students had passed… so she knew it was an extra, extra tough one.
It’s a moment I’ll never forget.
What does any of my ballet saga have to do with your online business, your entrepreneurial path?
Miss Melanie wasn’t wrong in noticing that I wasn’t as natural a ballerina as some of my peers.
Where she went wrong was when she totally discounted my desire, my determination, and my commitment to making it, despite any odds that may have been against me.
Miss Cora, on the other hand… she didn’t care how good I was or how talented I was.
She simply showed up and did her job, which was not to decide for me (before I was even in my teens!) if I had a shot at success.
Instead, she met me where I was and she matched my effort, my focus, and my commitment. Instead of taking choices off the table for me, she approached it with the attitude of, “If this is what you want, here’s where you are now and here’s what you’ll need to do to get there.”
I have never forgotten Miss Melanie or Miss Cora and the way that each of them made me feel.
One was always sweet and kind of me, but secretly was just placating me and telling me what she thought I’d want to hear because she never believed I would amount to anything.
The other was not always sweet – in fact she was kind of tough a lot of the time! – but she used every second of every class to help me make incremental progress and show me where I could do better.
Most importantly, she never, ever gave up on me. If she had ideas about whether or not I could “make it” (which I’m sure she did), she didn’t let those ideas affect the extent to which she showed up for me.
That’s what a real mentor will do for you.
It’s the kind of mentor I’ve always aspired to be to my entrepreneur clients. It’s how I KNOW you can make it.
The #1 Ingredient to a Successful Online Business
Do you know what it is? You may be able to guess by now.
It’s not being able to invest five or six figures in a fancy coach (my program is low-cost to honor the entrepreneurs who are deadly serious about getting the online business going but don’t yet have enough clients to make a huge investment doable).
It’s not about taking the right course or program.
Heck, it’s not even about being tech savvy or having the right online business step-by-step roadmap (even though that’s what I teach!).
THE ONLY THING YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE TO SUCCEED IN YOUR ONLINE BUSINESS IS THE COMMITMENT TO KEEP SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF AND TO NEVER, EVER STOP.
It helps if you have a mentor who embraces this philosophy, too… I learned the hard way that the wrong mentor can lead you down a dark and dead-end path… even if they are all sunshine and roses as they’re doing it.
The right mentor will dramatically reduce the length of time it takes to get your online business going… but even a perfect mentor can’t help you if you stop showing up for yourself.
So show up for yourself! Start now and never stop. It’s the best investment you will ever make. You WILL get there, if only you keep moving.
Epilogue… Did I ever dance professionally?
Yep! In fact, my second professional gig – aboard Carnival Cruise Lines – was where I met my husband, which I think is pretty dang cool. Here are a few pics from my professional dance days:
I really hope you’ve found this post helpful. If you have, please do 2 things for me: (1) leave a comment below and (2) share this post with 1 or 2 people you think would really benefit. Thank you!
I appreciate you,
Kathryn
Kathryn, It’s a powerful post. Brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you my friend!
Bravo. It takes courage not to ‘hear’ the coach call time.
Maria thank you! I think closer to the truth though was I DID hear it. I just was fortunate enough to get another coach who refused to give up on me. I feel so lucky that I got her because I don’t know what my life would have looked like otherwise.
Great story and message. Yes, the one ingredient that I use to describe myself as an entrepreneur is “undeterred”. The rest I can learn.
Linda so lovely to see your beautiful name in these comments! I could not agree more with your statement. xo
I love your story. Very inspiring! 🙂
Thank you Patricia! 🙂
Inspirational and inspiring, I’ve started and stopped too many times because I’ve not secured a team to support. Thanks Kathryn
You are so welcome Von and thanks for your comment. 🙂 Having support has been a game-changer for me but I definitely did the lone wolf thing for a loooong time. I thought it would work but my progress was so much quicker with a team to encourage me.
I loved reading your story – so applicable to my intention to persevere as an entrepreneur.
You CAN do it Janet! Thank you for your comment. Perseverance is really the only thing you need.
WOW Kathryn, What a powerful story. You’re an inspiration to me every day!
Big Hugs,
Dorothy
Thank you Dorothy! 🙂 I so appreciate you.
Wow! Very doggone cool Kathryn. And where did you move to??
Calgary!
Really fun story and what fabulous pictures! I am always inspired by those who attribute their success to determination rather than talent. You were bold not to let one teacher’s “assessment” spoil your ambition to keep going.
Thank you so much Lauren. Talent is nice and all but gosh I was far from the most talented dancer and I suspect I’m far from the most talented entrepreneur, too! Grit takes you really far.
Really Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for your comment Ron 🙂
Kathryn, You never cease to amaze me❣️ What a beautiful reminder for our path with our mentors but also (as I’m always considering my role for my students) how I need to show up for them✨✨✨
Thank you my dear KJ! 🙂 I think about this piece of my history every time I’m coaching.
I love this story Kathryn! It’s inspiring and such a great reminder that we need to give it our all as mentors and not “hold back” on clients we may not think are “ready” to take the next big step we envision or that’s required. Cut the subjective biases and judgements and show them the path to success in from of them – on any subject. Let them decide if they want to take it on and then BE THERE to support and encourage them when they do!
Thanks so much for this uplifting share! 💜🙏🏼
Cindy, thank you so much for commenting! I’m just seeing this now. <3 Yup, you hit the nail on the head. We are all human; I think it's natural for us as coaches to have ideas about who is most likely to achieve a desired outcome. It's not a pretty side of us but I think it's human nature to look at what someone's doing and say, "Yikes, I don't know if they're going to make it!" if a part of us thinks that. I learned from being on the other side of the coin just how damaging that can be and I'm grateful for it because it supports me in keeping any of those potential harmful opinions in check and allows me to just show up for my clients, meet them where they are, and do my part to support them in taking the next step.
Thanks for sharing. I think we always learn from real stories more than “Rah rah” speeches. I have been in a slump lately and I need to recommit to my travel business.
Thanks for sharing.
Linda if I helped you at all, I am so grateful for that. Slumps are normal! Keep going! Sending you love.
Thanks, Kathryn!
In the words of my ten-year-old niece, you are “totally total!”
I agree that the right mentor can make a huge difference and the wrong mentor can be a big pain, especially in school.
By the way, is commitment = sustained grit or is grit = sustained commitment? Hmm. Will have to check it out.
Totally total! Hahaha I’ll have to ask my kid sister about that one. 😉 And that’s a good question… I think the “sustained” part even can be tricky if we feel like we can NEVER have a bad day or a bad month (or 6!) as an entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur is tough. It’s okay to be human and get down on yourself from time to time… but eventually you’re going to have to pick yourself up and keep going because no one will do it for you.
Interesting! Do you only work with entrepreneurs who have an online business? I ask because I have a brick and mortar business!
Pearl most of my clients have online businesses but I do have a few with brick and mortar businesses. Really I’m a best fit for people who have any kind of business (online or off) but wish to leverage the Internet to help them get more leads and customers.
Thanks for sharing your story; YOU always have to be your biggest cheerleader!
YES Yvonne! Exactly!
Thank you for the great blog post Kathryn! I’m so impressed by your dance story and love your heart. I’ve been a little absent from my dreams of an online business but I’m recommitting to getting launched. Thank you for being my coach and mentor!
It’s an honor to be your mentor my dear Melinda!
Okay Kathryn. Fun to know your background. And you are SO. RIGHT. ON. here with this! Never let others decide for you and never give up on something important to you. Our journeys may change, eventually they do for one reason or another. But that should be OUR choice, just as going for what we want is our choice. I just loved this article. You are just a brilliant breath of fresh air.
Thank you Dolly, you made my day!
What a great story! No surprise, it’s always been so easy to see, even from begin a computer screen that you’ve always had star quality! Thank you for being so awesomely you! And for sharing that and your many gifts so generously.
Maureen I’m so glad the universe had our paths cross. You are the best.